Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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