haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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