I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Randomize
