just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
