well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize