So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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