So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
