I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
