Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
