i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
