ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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