It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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