she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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