i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
