i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
