just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
