I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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