Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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