you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
