like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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