Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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