I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
