dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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