is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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