Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Duck Duck Cougar?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize