I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
