tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Alive.
So much puke
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
