doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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