if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize