no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize