Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
