i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize