so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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