Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
