I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
