Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did I show you my penis last night?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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