Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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