I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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