omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
