im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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