you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
