oh god the rape fog is back!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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