well I can't set my house on fire every night
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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