i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
