My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
