Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
