Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
