Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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