plz talk dirty to me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
