..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
