If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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