I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
