I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
