i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i've created a new STD.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
