Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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