You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize