When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
