I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
