I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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