so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize