hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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