I'm lost and stupid without you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
