My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
