i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
