I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
