do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
