walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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