My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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