Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
