Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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