We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
