I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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