did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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