i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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