I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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