I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize