Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
