I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
