We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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